I've hesitated writing this, mainly because putting it "on paper" makes it real...but I'm struggling, y'all. I'm sitting here choking back cucumber acting like I'm strong and enjoying it, but I'm really not.
It all began about a week ago when I started getting really terrible headaches right after "breakfast" (I put breakfast in air quotes because I'm not eating breakfast on this phase- I'm drinking a meal replacement shake...more on that later), that essentially lasted ALL DAY. The headaches made me nauseous, weak, tired and downright mean. On a few occasions I've called Josh crying, because I'm just so miserable. I tried switching up the timing of all the pills, meals, snacks, etc. and it really doesn't seem to help. I think it's a combination of not sleeping well (thanks for my husband's sleep walking/talking) and not eating enough. I literally can't even think about eating a salad right now.
This past Friday I had a total meltdown, which lasted all day...again... When Josh got home, I poured myself a giant glass of wine, cried a little, and then proceeded to make the most delicious homemade pizza. I devoured it and, not surprisingly, was in such a great mood. I even woke up Saturday morning feeling good and not guilty. That quickly changed.
On Saturday night (last night), our oven randomly broke, so I was forced to make the hatch green chile burgers and queso I bought at Central Market (which I planned to freeze for next weekend). I felt TERRIBLE last night- guilty, ashamed, bloated, etc. I'm embarrassed because I can't even get through a 24 day challenge! What is wrong with me?! Why do I keep getting these terrible headaches?! I never get headaches! Something has got to give, because right now I am at my breaking point.
I jumped back on the plan this morning (Sunday), and immediately got a headache around 10:30-11. Like I have all week. I plan to discuss this with my sister (my Advocare rep) and will hopefully have a plan for the next 6 days. I just cannot function this way, especially with a 14 month old to care for!
I feel like I've let down so many people, not just myself. But, maybe this post (and subsequent ones) will help someone out there who's dealing with the same issue?! I'll keep you updated.