Sleep training...again...

The one thing parents with babies who are bad enough sleepers to require sleep training don't tell you is- you'll do it more than once.

I know a handful of moms who had great sleepers until the 12-month sleep regression, who did a few weeks of CIO and now have their great sleepers back. And I have one friend who did weeks of CIO with her daughter around 7-8 months, and she's been a great sleeper ever since. But most moms I know battle sleep for a long time. We're on our third or fourth bout of sleep training. Awesome.

Like I mentioned in my 9-month update, my pediatrician told us that Jacob doesn't need to eat at night and that we have her permission to CIO. Inevitably, though, he gets sick, starts teething or starts a Wonder Week, and I'm a push over, so I nurse him or rock him. And then he gets used to it. And...you know the rest...

So here we are, on our fourth stint of sleep training. I have to admit though, it's getting easier. I don't get the queasy feeling anymore when he's screaming hysterically in his room. Not sure if that's a good or bad thing?

Anyways, if you we're putting Jacob's sleep on a line graph, imagine a roller coaster. Months on the horizontal axis and bad to good on the vertical axis. We're at 10.5 months and about 2cm from the bottom. Rock bottom. Ouch. Jacob is back to requiring us to rock him to sleep before putting him down. Sigh.

Hallelujah!

Jacob slept thru the night for the FIRST time last night!!!! He slept 7pm-6:30am with no feeding and no crying!!

Of course, I didn't sleep that good- mostly in part to my gynormously engorged boobs! But I think I've also forgotten how to sleep! Time to train mom how to sleep thru the night.

When we went to the doctor on Monday for Jacob's ear follow-up, the pediatrician asked about sleeping (because she knows what a terrible sleeper he's been). I told her we were still nursing 1-2x at night. She told me he does not need to be eating at night anymore and gave me her blessing to let him cry. As sad as it was, Josh and I were ready and I have to say- this entire family is MUCH happier! Jacob wakes up energized and happy, and his naps have improved too!

Thank you, GOD!

Ferberizing Jacob - summary

Day 1 - Weds, October 24
Nap 1 - 60 minutes of crying, no sleep
Nap 2 - 50 minutes of crying, 15 minutes of sleep
Nap 3 (emergency nap) - 0 crying, 2 hours of sleep
Bedtime - Squirmed/fussed for a few minutes, fell asleep.
Woke at 12:45am, cried for 60 minutes.
Fed at 1:45am, fell back to sleep immediately after.
Woke for the day at 5:50am (8 hours, 50 minutes nighttime sleep)

Day 2 - Thurs, October 25
Nap 1 - 30 minutes of sleep, 27 minutes of crying (in that order)
Nap 2 - 26 minutes of sleep, 27 minutes of crying (in that order)
Nap 3 - 11 minutes of sleep, 27 minutes of crying (in that order)
Nap 4 (emergency nap) - 0 crying, 1 hour, 50 minutes of sleep
Bedtime - Cried for less than 10 minutes.
Woke at 11:30, cried for 1.5 hours.
Fed at 3:30, cried for 5 minutes and fell asleep.
Woke at 4:00, cried for less than 10 minutes.
Woke for the day at 8:15am (10 hours nighttime sleep)

Day 3 - Fri, October 26
Nap 1 - 33 minutes of sleep, 27 minutes of crying (in that order)
Nap 2 - 1 hour, 5 minutes of sleep, 0 crying
Nap 3 - 35 minutes of sleep, 22 minutes of crying (in that order)
Bedtime - Cried for less than 5 minutes and fell asleep.
Fed at 8:18, cried for 10 minutes and fell asleep.
Woke at 11:38, cried for 1 hour, 12 minutes and fell asleep.
Fed at 3:37, cried for less than 10 minutes and fell asleep.
Woke at 4:13, cried for 10 minutes and fell asleep.
Woke for the day at 7:15am (10.5 hours nighttime sleep)

At this point, we changed our nap rules to a half hour instead of a full hour.  It seems that Jacob just isn't ready for a full hour, which is apparently very common for babies his age and was confirmed by his pediatrician. He's been going to sleep immediately for naps, with no crying, so we don't really have an "issue" there.

Day 4 - Sat, October 27
Nap 1 - 29 minutes of sleep
Nap 2 - 31 minutes of sleep
Nap 3 - 30 minutes of sleep
Nap 4 - 18 minutes of sleep
Bedtime - fell asleep immediately.
Woke at 11:50, cried for 32 minutes and fell asleep.
Fed at 4:11, fell asleep immediately.
Woke at 4:52, cried for 26 minutes and fell asleep.
Woke for the day at 6:45 (10 hours nighttime sleep)

Day 5 - Sun, October 28
Nap 1 - 30 minutes of sleep
Nap 2 - 34 minutes of sleep
Nap 3 - 31 minutes of sleep
Nap 4 - 1.5 hours of sleep
Bedtime - fell asleep immediately.
Woke at 11:16 and 11:55 and cried for less than 15 minutes each time.
Fed at 4:12, fell asleep immediately.
Woke for the day at 7:25 (11.5 hours nighttime sleep)

Day 6 - Mon, October 29
Nap 1 - 35 minutes of sleep
Nap 2 - 25 minutes of sleep
Nap 3 - 40 minutes of sleep
Bedtime - fell asleep immediately.
Woke at 11:48, 12:40, 1:08 and 1:34 and cried for less than 17 minutes each time.
Fed at 4:07, fell asleep immediately.
Woke for the day at 7:25 (11 hours of nighttime sleep)

Day 7 - Tues, October 30
Nap 1 - 31 minutes of sleep
Nap 2 - 38 minutes of sleep
Nap 3 - 1 hour of sleep
Bedtime - fell asleep immediately.
Woke at 11:52, cried for less than 10 minutes.
Fed at 5:03, cried for less than 10 minutes and fell asleep.
Woke for the day at 7:30 (11.5 hours of nighttime sleep)

Soo...after 1 week, we were down to 1 feeding per night.  We place Jacob in his crib drowsy, but awake, for all naps and bedtime and he successfully puts himself to sleep.  He still wakes up several times throughout the night and fusses, but typically its less than 5 minutes and he settles himself.  If he cries for longer than 20 minutes, it means he's hungry and I feed him (only if its after 1:30 - 6 hours after he eats last, or half way through "nighttime").

My advice for parents looking for a sleep solution:
1) Do your research, decide on a solution, and stay firm on your choice.  Do not deviate from the plan in the middle of the night.  Babies need consistency and repetition, its how they learn.
2) Make sure both parents are on-board and committed.  You cannot get through this alone.
3) Invest in industrial strength ear plugs.
4) Trust your instincts and know that you're doing what's best for you and your child.

Good luck!!
Kate

Ferberizing Jacob - the basics

If you're like me, you like to hear other people's experiences before jumping into something yourself.  And I don't want the fluffy version, I want all the full-blown, nitty-gritty details. So, for you moms that are desperately searching for sleep training advice and/or stories...here you go!

As I mentioned in my Day 1 post, we are sleep training and weaning from the swaddle and night feedings, so we had more to tackle than just a crappy sleeper.

The Ferber method allows for brief visits from mom and dad to reassure baby that you're still there, that you love them and that everything will be okay. I'm a firm believer in doing things right the first time, which is why I knew CIO was the best route, but I liked the visits allowed through Ferber. Below is a quick summary or breakdown of what we did. This isn't exactly Ferber's rules, we changed a few things to fit our comfort level.

• Put baby in crib drowsy, but awake. They should fall asleep the same way in which they will wake in the middle of the night/nap.
• We use a noise machine, and since starting this we've been giving Jacob an Aden+Anais blanket, since they are thin and breathable. We've noticed that Jacob likes to cover his face with the blanket (which is funny, because I do the same thing!), so we are very careful to watch him and move it before going to bed.
• When baby starts crying, start the timer and wait for the following intervals before visiting baby...

Number of minutes to wait before responding to your child
Day 1 - 3 min (1st wait); 5 min (2nd wait); 10 min (3rd wait); 10 min (subsequent waits)
Day 2 – 5 min; 10 min; 12 min; 12 min...
Day 3 – 10 min; 12 min; 15 min; 15 min...
Day 4 – 12 min; 15 min; 17 min; 17 min...
Day 5 – 15 min; 17 min; 20 min; 20 min...
Day 6 – 17 min; 20 min; 25 min; 25 min...
Day 7 – 20 min; 25 min; 30 min; 30 min...

• When you reach the maximum number of minutes to wait for a night, continue to leave the room for the same interval until baby falls asleep while you are out of the room.
• If baby wakes during the night, restart the schedule from the first waiting time and work up to the maximum.
• Continue this routine after each waking until a time in the morning (usually 5 or 6 am) after which it is unlikely baby will fall back asleep.
• Naptime: Use the same waiting schedule for naps, but if baby hasn’t fallen asleep after an hour, or if he is awake again and crying, end the nap. If he hasn't slept much during the day (parent's discretion), initiate an "emergency nap", use old nap time approach, to avoid an overtired baby at bedtime.

We're on Day 6 now, and I've noticed significant improvement.  Today I feel bright-eyed and bushy-tailed.  Such a great feeling!  We still have a few kinks to work out, but I'll post our final summary when we're all done.

Good luck!
Kate

Ferberizing Jacob - Day 3

I think I see light at the end of this dark, dark tunnel.

Naps were much better on Day 3 - he took a 1 hour nap with NO rocking or swaddle IN his crib!! This has never happened.

Nighttime was better too, and more tolerable for me. I can tell he's not crying quite as hard, he's more babbling and whimpering.

We also discovered the timer on my iPhone, which makes night waiting much better - you can actually close your eyes during those 12 and 15 minute periods.

Here's our Day 3 recap:
Nap 1 - 33 minutes of sleep, 27 minutes of crying (in that order)
Nap 2 - 1 hour, 5 minutes of sleep, 0 crying
Nap 3 - 35 minutes of sleep, 22 minutes of crying (in that order)
Bedtime (since we didn't give Jacob an emergency nap this day, we put him to bed a little early.  He didn't eat really great before bedtime, so I nursed him when he woke up the first time.) - Cried for less than 5 minutes and fell asleep.
Fed at 8:18, cried for 10 minutes and fell asleep.
Woke at 11:38, cried for 1 hour, 12 minutes and fell asleep.
Fed at 3:37, cried for less than 10 minutes and fell asleep.
Woke at 4:13, cried for 10 minutes and fell asleep.
Woke for the day at 7:15am (10.5 hours nighttime sleep)

Ferberizing Jacob - Day 2

Night 2 definitely wasn't as easy as Night 1, but naps were better and I can see that he's learning to self soothe. I got pretty upset last night, almost to the point of throwing up. My stomach was in knots hearing him cry for so long. I just had to bury my head in the pillow, and Josh had to keep telling me to stay strong. But, we survived! And I'm really hopeful that we start seeing better results soon.

On a side note, I think he's scared of his room now. LOL! Every time I go in there to change his diaper he whimpers.

Here's Day 2 recap:
Nap 1 - 30 minutes of sleep, 27 minutes of crying (in that order)
Nap 2 - 26 minutes of sleep, 27 minutes of crying (in that order)
Nap 3 - 11 minutes of sleep, 27 minutes of crying (in that order)
Nap 4 (emergency nap) - 0 crying, 1 hour, 50 minutes of sleep
Bedtime - Cried for less than 10 minutes.
Woke at 11:30, cried for 1.5 hours.
Fed at 3:30, cried for 5 minutes and fell asleep.
Woke at 4:00, cried for less than 10 minutes.
Woke at 6:20 (for what I thought was the day), I brought him into our room for our morning snuggles that I do every morning, and next thing I knew he was asleep! And slept until 8:15!  I'm not entirely sure if this totally effs up everything we've done, but I didn't do anything to get him to fall asleep, so I'm going to consider his wake time to be 8:15 (10 hours nighttime sleep)

On to Day 3...!!!

Ferberizing Jacob - Day 1

Wednesday started like any other day - Josh spent nearly an hour and a half (4-5:30am) trying to rock Jacob back to sleep after his THIRD feeding of the night and probably the SIXTH night waking. If you think I'm exaggerating, I'm not.  This kid is one high-maintenance sleeper.  Hence our reasoning for researching and starting sleep training.

At first, I was really hesitant to start sleep training, especially Cry It Out (CIO) methods, but after 20 weeks of the above scenario playing out night after night, we decided this was best for us.  And by us I mean Josh, myself and Jacob.  Jacob needs sleep too, and he needs to learn how to self soothe.

We decided on the Ferber method for several reasons, but honestly - I don't feel the need to explain myself or our decision.  Just know I did months of research and was very well-informed.  I'll do a separate post later on the exact guidelines of Ferber and what we did.

But also please know that we hadn't yet completely weaned Jacob of the swaddle and he was still waking 3x/night to eat, so we were actually sleep training and weaning at the same time.  A rather hefty challenge, but we were ready for it!

We started sleep training on Wednesday, October 24 during the day.  Here is a recap of Day 1.

Nap 1 - 60 minutes of crying, no sleep
Nap 2 - 50 minutes of crying, 15 minutes of sleep
Nap 3 (emergency nap) - 0 crying, 2 hours of sleep
Bedtime - Squirmed/fussed for a few minutes, fell asleep.
Woke at 12:45am, cried for 60 minutes.
Fed at 1:45am, fell back to sleep immediately after.
Woke for the day at 5:50am (8 hours, 50 minutes nighttime sleep)

I'm not "spiking the football", as Josh would say, but we had a very good night and we're both very optimistic.  I'll post daily blogs through Day 3, then will post a final summary when our sleep training is complete.  Wish us luck!!!